The NBA season has begun.
Tank you very much.
Yes, it’s never too early to break out the Tanking Mottos for teams like the Philadelphia 76ers, the Los Angeles Lakers and maybe even the Knicks, who got drilled by the Chicago Bulls in their season opener last night by 24 points.
FiveThirtyEight.com projects the Sixers to have the NBA’s worst record at 20-62. But have you seen their roster? Twenty wins might be optimistic.
After that, FiveThirtyEight projects Kobe and the Lakers will win 24 games — and that was before Julius Randle broke his leg in the season-opener.
The site then has Utah (28 wins), Milwaukee (29), Sacramento (29), the Knicks (31), Boston (32) and Orlando (32) bringing up the rear.
So let’s bust out some Tanking Mottos, shall we?
While the tanking storylines last year centered around Andrew Wiggins (“Riggin’ for Wiggins), Jabari Parker (“Play sorry for Jabari”) and Julius Randle (“Mishandle for Randle) this year’s should focus on an elite group of big men.
Duke’s Jahlil Okafor, Kentucky’s Karl-Anthony Towns and Kentucky’s Willie Cauley-Stein are three of the projected top five picks by DraftExpress.com, while point guard Emmanuel Mudiay, now playing in China, small forward Kelly Oubre of Kansas and small forward Stanley Johnson of Arizona are in the mix.
Here are some trending Tanking Slogans, with the person who came up with it in parens.
OKAFOR
“Choke for Ok” (Ohm Youngmisuk)
“Lose Some More for Okafor” (@crown82)
“Shoot Poor for Okafor” (@crown82)
“Blow Some More for Okafor (@ukbasketball132)
“Forget How to Score for Okafor (Jonathan Givony)
“Flop on the floor for Okafor” (@BLUEChip_Miller)
TOWNS
“Play Like Clowns for Towns (Givony)
“Play Down for Towns” (@_anthonycolluci)
“Turn Down for Towns” (Kenny Ducey)
MUDIAY
“Lose the Day for Mudiay” (Zags)
“Cede the Day for Mudiay” (Zags)
“Exponential Decay for Mudiay” (Givony)
“A State of Disarray for Mudiay” (Givony)
CAULEY-STEIN
“Play without a spine for Willie Cauley-Stein” (Chris Russell)
“Soften up your spine for Willie Cauley-Stein” (Zags)
“Forget you have a spine, for Willie Cauley-Stein” (Givony)
MYLES TURNER
“Be a Slow Learner for Turner” (Ducey)
ALEXANDER
“Whiff for Cliff” (Josh Newman)
OUBRE
“Poor Play for Oubre” (Newman)
“Go temporarily astray, for Kelly Oubre ” (Givony)
JOHNSON
“Play Less Manly for Stanley” (Zags)
JUSTISE WINSLOW
“Do your best to blow, for Justise Winslow” (Givony)
“Keep ya wins low for Winslow” (Newman)
KRISTAPS PORZINGIS
“Enter the Abyss for Porzingis” (Givony)
